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CNN Dating someone new is about checking out the new restaurant on the block or taking a hot yoga class together. And in the age of safer sex, it also means sharing information about your sexual health. Ian Kerner is a licensed couples therapist, writer and contributor on the topic of sex for CNN.

In this guide, we’ll cover the essentials of dating with herpes, from coming to terms with the fact that you have the virus to disclosing herpes to your partner.

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Sexually transmitted diseases STDs are infections spread from person to person during sex vaginal, oral, or anal or close intimate contact. Left untreated, STDs can spread and cause serious health problems for you and your sex partners. A person with an STD may or may not have symptoms. When people feel perfectly fine, they don’t know they have an infection that can spread.

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Although it’s one thing to cope with your own diagnosis , coping with someone else’s status is a different situation altogether — especially if you’re just getting to know them. There are 50 million adults with genital herpes to date, and yet up to 90 percent of infected people are unaware that they have it. Combined, these stats suggest that if you’re in the dating market long enough, you’re likely to hook up, date, or be in a relationship with someone who has a sexually transmitted infection.

There’s still a lot of stigma around them, even those that can be cured with antibiotics, but for those who have sexually transmitted infections that aren’t curable at the moment, the stigma is even worse. Here are five tips for dating someone with an STD. Once your dating partner discloses their status, it’s on you to do your homework. While some folks might want to tell you the ins and outs of their particular STD, others might not want to be your personal sex educator, so you’ll need to take the reins and get to reading.

There may be days when your partner is having an outbreak or feeling weak or depressed about their condition, and you really want to have sex but they’re in no mood for it. Understanding the emotional component of a chronic STD is just as important as recognizing the physical symptoms. It’s easy to protect yourself from most sexually transmitted infections by using condoms religiously, but with herpes, for example, it’s a bit trickier.

Asymptomatic skin shedding can occur during any skin-to-skin contact around the genitals and transmit the virus, although there are now anti-virals on the market that greatly reduce this risk.

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